


Sex Ed can't do shit

by spookbats



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Book: Breaking Dawn, F/M, but not really, it goes off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 09:24:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19999639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookbats/pseuds/spookbats
Summary: Turns out after 70 years of High School, Edward doesn't understand a condom





	Sex Ed can't do shit

Two recently married people have sex for the first time. They're excited and worried and happy and curious. Humans have done it since the beginning of the time. The only change is one of them isn't human. It's a little different and dangerous but they're in love. 

Edward, the 119 virgin vampire up to this point doesn't even know how to put a condom on. Sure, he has medical degrees, but that doesn't help him at all. Bella is his first love and he never found a need to learn about sex before her. People thought about it constantly but he just tunes them out. On his bachelor's night, he asked Emmett and Jasper about having sex and they meant well and tried their best, but they didn't mention condoms either. It's been a long time since there were humans and their mates are vampires. Maybe, if he talked to his sisters they could've told him or maybe they don't even know. Why learn something that isn't about your species? None of them ever dated humans or been humans in such a long time. Even Carlisle, a literal doctor for humans didn't seem to mention it. It was probably because a condom is worthless compared to vampire venom. 

So, even if Bella and Edward had any sex education in school it wouldn't help them because there is no information if your husband is a vampire and you are a human being. No one could've told them that sometimes a bite isn't needed to turn someone into a vampire. Sometimes it's a different body part that can do the job instead. 

Once Bella found out about Edward's species and deciding to be with him forever she had several plans of transforming into a vampire. Her first try at vampire venom wasn't her choice and Edward took out the venom. She wouldn't want James’ venom in her anyways. Her first actual try was at prom. She wasn't expecting him to bite her right there, but she was willing for it to happen. Over the summer she tried to convince him and failed every time. Then when trying to save her dumbass ex at that time she almost got Alice to do it. Back in Forks, she got people to vote on it. She got Carlisle to agree to it after graduation. However, once Edward suggested he do it if she married him, she wouldn't want anyone else. It had to be Edward. The idea of marriage though, that took a while to get over. Bella did get Edward to include one other thing than just a bite. They would have sex when she was still human. Edward was against it. He was worried that he would hurt her. That his lust would harm Bella in away. He was right in away. Sex did change Bella. It did cause her pain, but not in a way that anyone expected. 

Bella didn't orgasm during her first time with Edward. Although Edward did. She had convinced him to let her top on the basis it would keep her safer than him being on her. Once Edward finished it only took a minute for the change to happen. The couple laid in bed, enjoying the afterglow. Then the pain going through her body. Bella thought she did something wrong in their lovemaking. Maybe Edward tore something or those stories of bleeding after sex happened. She would only worried about Edward bloodlust if that had happened. But once the sudden pain of fire and needles went racing through her body she knew the familiar pain. She had been told multiple times of the terrible pain of three days of transformation. She tried to forget James’ teeth and the pain she went through. Bella screamed. Edward freaked out. Those screams were something of true horror. He been through those screams, heard them from his family. He didn't know how he had given his venom to Bella, but he was going to fix it. 

Edward looked all over for any bites where his venom could've dropped in. The issue being there was no bites. Some bruises were going to appear if she stayed human, but if Edward did nothing she wasn't going to be human anymore. He couldn't concentrate well because, oh the love of his life was screaming bloody murder. Every curse word she knew she yelled. She trashed all over the bed. Edward tried to calm her down, but how could he when he was freaking out? 

“Bella, Bella, Love! It's going to be alright,” Edward said in a very not alright tone. Vampire minds can only go so fast. Vampires tend to go stone cold when stressed out. 

A string of curses came rolling out of Bella. “Fuck FUccccck!!!! Shit!” was only a few of them. 

Edward sat down, the panic mode in progress in the corner of their bedroom. He couldn't suck out any venom if he didn't know where it was and even getting close to Bella to figure it out was pointless. He would just hurt Bella more. He let her transform.

The phone was ringing nonstop before he got up. Once he was able to move he called Carlisle. 

“I don't know what happened. I can't stop it. One moment she was fine, smiling,” Edward couldn't smile at that memory right now because he could still hear Bella's screams. Outside in the fresh night breeze did nothing to help calm his nerves. He only did it so Carlisle could hear him.

“Are you sure you didn't bite her in any way?” Carlisle asked in a calm tone. Don't be fooled he was freaking out too. He was slightly glad that Edward couldn't read his mind right now. 

“I'm sure, but I couldn't get a...full study in,” Edward grimaced. 

“Okay, well we're there soon to figure it out. She will be okay, son,” Carlisle hoped that adding that would ease his first son worries, but he knew Edward too well. Bella won't be the only one screaming in agony tonight. 

The entire family, excluding Emmett and Rosalie, came to Isle Esme. The reason the couple didn't join was that someone had to keep an eye on Forks and Charlie. If they all left it would look suspicious. Also, once they find out the cause of Bella's transformation Emmett would laugh too hard about it for the sensitive recent married couple. 

Carlisle tried to bring anything that could help with Bella. He knew he couldn't do much after the first day. Everyone would have to wait it out. They didn't want to wait until the three days were over because poor Edward was alone. Edward was freaking out and he needed his family to try to calm him down. 

Esme held Edward for the next two days. He turned to stone most of the time. What else was there to do? Carlisle tried to help Bella, even though he turned most of his family he didn't know how to help Bella. He had discussed using the medicine before using venom but that was too late now. Alice had covered up Bella with blankets and soon clothes once she was able to move Bella's body. Jasper was there for a newborn time. Also, relax everyone in this panicked time. Carlisle had told the housekeepers to stay away for a couple of weeks. The lady had said no and wanted to check up on Bella, but Jasper had used his powers to calm her down. Edward was kinda useless with his powers right now, but everyone had a feeling the housekeepers would come back. Bella and Edward would be gone before they could. No one had any idea of what newborn Bella would be like, but they didn’t want to risk it. 

Alice keeps saying that “Everything will be alright” as if that would calm down anyone, especially 3-day husband Edward Cullen. No one is saying it but they don't know how Bella changed. Edward won't say anything and Alice is somewhat quiet about what she saw before the call. 

Bella opened her eyes to her vampire family. Edward’s hand in hers and careful stares at her. Three days of unending pain had stopped. 

“Bella?” A rough but familiar lovely voice asked for her. “Are you okay?” 

“Yea,” Bella was surprised over her new voice. More smooth than ever. Edward smiled and Bella tackled him. A couple of laughs came out in surprise. 

“Bella, we're here too!” Alice said while laughing. The first thing Bella did as a newborn was to hug Edward. She meant to kiss him too, but her movements were all too new to her. Once Bella stood up she saw the rest of the people there. 

“When you get here?” She hoped they hadn't heard her screams. Bella had tried to calm down and hold it in as the days went on. 

“It doesn't matter, we're here now,” Esme explained. She walked to embrace Bella. Jasper was watching Bella and confused. Bella was calm. She was confused too, but nothing like the newborns he had dealt with in his undead life. 

Carlisle, happy with his daughter-in-law joining with his family was still curious of what the hell happened. He would wait for the questions. Bella deserved some time to wake up and deal with her new body. 

Bella, confused over her surroundings and new clothes, a bright blue dress that was very tight on her. She is glad that her family is here but like its still her honeymoon. 

“Let's give Bella and Edward some time alone,” Esme said. Now there was a lot to talk about but she knows Edward deserve to talk to his bride first. 

“So, wow. I wasn't expecting this” Bella broke the silence first. It was only three days ago, but it was a little difficult to remember a lot right now. 

“Yeah, none of us were. You sure you are okay?” Edward asked while stroking her face. Bella nodded and pushed Edward down onto the bed. Edward grunted and laughed. 

“Oh, sorry,” Bella said. The strength was wild and she loved it. 

“Don’t be.” 

It is was around 5 am in the morning and Bella saw the sparkles not only Edward this time. She hopped off of her husband to check out the rising sun. As she hopped she kneed Edward, causing another grunt. Edward smiled as he watched Bella run out to the beach. He chased after her. Once he caught up he scooped her up. More tackling and laughter on the sand. 

The rest of the vampires discuss the recent events in the living room. Alice is chilling on the couch. Jasper is pacing. Carlisle is writing down notes of what to do next. Esme is saddened over the loss of her furniture. After Edward and Bella leave she goes into the bedroom and if vampires could cry. Her perfect vintage bed. What did her favorite son do? She wasn't sure how long they would be here, but as soon as she can, she will fix up this place. How much damage could they go through in one night? 

“How do we explained this to Charlie?” Carlisle asked. They all knew Bella wouldn't be able to see him for a while, if at all. They loved Charlie as her own dad and hated to leave him in the dark. Could they even tell them that his only daughter was dead? Days, weeks, even months after her wedding? 

“An island sickness. Quick and tragic. Closed casket,” Jasper explained. Alice sighed. 

“He would ask to see her,” Carlisle added. 

“He deserves more than that,” Esme walked back in.

“We can't have Bella meet with Charlie. Not now. She is a newborn for at least a year,” Jasper said sternly. He's got a point. They had no idea of what Bella could do and hurting her father was too likely. 

“Maybe she is different, her transformation was,” Carlisle reasoned. Bella had time to think it over and knew the pain of transformation than any other vampires they knew.

“You can say that twice,” Alice smirked. 

Jasper felt her smugness. He stopped pacing. 

“What do you know about her transformation, dear?” 

“I may have an idea of what made Bella transform,” Alice said tight-lipped. That got their attention. 

“What is it??” Carlisle asked intrigued. They all came closer to hear Alice. 

“Welllll……” Alice hesitated. Edward wouldn’t want this out there. Her poor naive brother. 

“Alice, please,” Jasper said. He didn’t like the feelings of discomfort and embarrassment coming from his wife. 

“Edwardcameinbellaandthatchangedher” She rapid-fire said. If they weren't vampires they would have no clue. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Esme plainly said. Alice gritted her teeth. She stood up. 

“Who knew right??” She was literally tiptoeing around the room. Carlisle was speechless. He had never heard of this before. Vampires and humans always end in death. I guess it came true this time too. No bite needed but fluids were the key. 

“Huh,” Carlisle numbered. 

“What do we tell them?” Jasper talking about the newlyweds currently playing in the water. They were having so much after the event. 

“Edward would figure it out,” Esme said. She fell onto the couch a little tired. She loves her son, but wow, he gets into lots of messes. 

“Edward will get over it. It was bound to happen,” Alice said. This prefix the family. 

“You saw this happen and didn’t warn them?” Carlisle asked. 

“I didn’t see it, but I mean Bella being a vampire. It was inevitable. I only saw once,  _ it  _ happened,” Alice explained. No one liked the idea of their youngest sibling/son nutting. 

“We will figure this out. First, let's call Rosalie and see how Charlie is doing,” Esme said. 

“Don’t tell them how it happened,” Jasper warned. 

“Of course,” Esme said. 

\---------

Bella having the time of her 2nd life. The speed. The smells. The sounds. It like her whole world opened up to her. She finally living her best life. Undead life. She doesn’t remember much, but she not trying to think of that right now. Right now she jumping from tree to tree. Edward is having a blast too. He’s worried but loves seeing Bella be so happy. It’s hard to not protect her, but she is stronger than him now. Bella tries to sneak on Edward and pounce on him and wrestle. She does have the advantage of Edward not reading her mind and not wanting to hurt her. The dress rips a little, but no one complains. As Bella sits on top of Edward’s chest she smiles. Her fangs are coming in nicely. She dips in to kiss her husband deeply and nips him a little. Edward doesn’t need to hold back anymore. He combs through her hair. With no necessary breathing, it takes a while for them to break apart. It takes until Bella goes to undress Edward to stop. Their family is still here. 

“Bella, love aren’t you thirsty?” Edward, our dear native boy says with no double entendre. She smiled. Her long brown hair shielded their faces. 

“You could say that,” she smirked and leaned down for another kiss. 

“I mean food-wise, hunting,” Edward explained. Oh, that. Bella had somehow forgotten. 

“Oh, right,” Bella said. She jumped back looking around into the forest. 

“I’ll help you,” Edward said. He held her hand and ran. 


End file.
